Parents don't always agree with what their children want. Parents don't always agree with each other. This is true with little things like what is best to eat as well as some of the other things like whether or not wearing belly rings is okay. It can be frustrating to get the green light from one parent only to have the other parent slam on the brakes. This happens in households where the parents live together as well as households that have been separated by divorce. It's an equal opportunity conundrum.
So what can you do, the teenager, who wants nothing more right now than to get a piercing so that you can wear one of the cute and trendy belly rings? This may be your very first lesson in persuasion and negotiation. There is no guarantee that you will win the battle of the belly rings but you will have the opportunity to learn a little more about your parents and a little more about how to effectively argue your cause.
How you approach this dilemma will often depend upon the relationship that you have with your parents as well as what their relationship with each other is like. I've seen terrible power plays acted out as divorced parents continue their personal struggles under the guise of doing what is best for the kids. Kids don't want to be put in the middle of the situation, but often they are.
You could choose to go with the parent that agrees with the piercing and have them sign the permission form and then happily make your choice of belly rings that you will buy. The challenge with this is that you open a "can of worms" with the other parent. They may either blame the consenting parent for undermining them, or they may feel hurt and betrayed by you for not listening to their decision.
The other option that you have is to embark on a persuasion campaign with the parent that objects. If you want them to view you as a young adult ready to handle your choice and the added attention that will come with wearing belly rings then you should act accordingly.
Explain to them why you would like to get the piercing. Educate them on the procedure and the after care that you are ready to follow so that there is no infection. Ask them why they object to the piercing, their answer may enlighten you. Based upon that answer you may be able to give them information that they hadn't considered before. It's possible that they object simply because they know someone who knows someone who has a daughter that wears belly rings who is a trouble maker, or poor student. They may fear that by getting a belly piercing you are somehow just like that other girl.
Remind them who you are. Remind them of your values, your uniqueness, and everything that makes you the great person you are. Tell them that you respect them and would like them to re-consider their objection. Ask them what they would need to see in order to agree with your wishes.
This is all a process and will not guarantee that your jewelry box will be filled with belly rings as a result of your efforts....the objecting parent may still object. The decision to pierce or not to pierce will still be up to you. You can choose to do it now, without full support of both parents or you can wait until you are of age where your parents will not be put at odds against each other. Try persuasion, you may just be surprised at the results or the relationships that build because of it.
Julie enjoys sharing health and beauty tips. A great resource for flat irons, curling irons and hair styling tools of all kinds is My Hair Styling Tools.
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